


The Letter

by stargatefan_archivist



Category: Stargate SG-1
Genre: Angst, Gen, POV First Person
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-31
Updated: 2013-12-31
Packaged: 2018-10-06 22:46:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 949
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10346253
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stargatefan_archivist/pseuds/stargatefan_archivist
Summary: Daniel tries to explain his feelings to Sha’re.Spoilers:Season 2, shortly after Secrets (but not a missing scene)





	

**Author's Note:**

> Note from Yuma, the archivist: this work was originally archived at [Stargatefan.com](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Stargatefan.com). To preserve the archive, we began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in 2017. I e-mailed all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [StargateFan Archive Collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/StargateFan_Archive_Collection).

The Letter

##  The Letter 

##### Written by Seanchaidh   
Comments? Write to us at seanchaidh@sk.sympatico.ca

  


Dear Sha're, 

I don't know if you'll ever read this. At the moment, it doesn't really concern me if that point is in question. I'm hoping that I'll be able to see you again, to tell you these things in person, instead of my words on paper being read by you sometime in the future. 

I guess it would be better if these words were said, so maybe this way, I can practice what I want to say. But just in case, I'm writing it. Because with the way our conflict with the Goa'uld is developing, there's always that chance that I'll be dead before we lay eyes on each other again. 

I have no way of knowing when you'll be reading this, but for me, it's been one week since you gave birth to Apophis' child. I don't know what's happened since then, between now and whenever the present might be for you, but I know that one thing is probably going to be the same for you. 

I can't forget the way you were so shamed when you told me that it was Apophis' child that you were carrying. I know I didn't exactly behave in the best way, storming out for a long time and wasting what time we had. I'd like to think that I was angry at what had been done to you, and don't get me wrong, Sha're, I'm furious over everything that the Goa'uld have done. But I've never blamed you. Never. 

And I'd be a cretin if I blamed you for what Apophis plotted. Because if I did, I'd be as guilty of the crime as you. We didn't have long together this time, and I didn't help anything when I sulked outside until Teal'c came to speak to me. I didn't get to tell you everything. It's been a year since we were separated, and many things can happen in a year. 

You're not the only one who's been used by a Goa'uld, though I'm in no way claiming that what's happened to you is anything like my experience. I don't think I can imagine what you've been through, and I have to be honest and say that I don't want to. It's too painful. 

You've heard of Hathor. I'm sure that she's making waves in the Goa'uld society, which might be a good thing, I don't really know. Ra had her confined through the millennia here on Earth, and some of my colleagues in a place called Mesoamerica accidentally released her. 

She came to us, looking for the Chaapa'ai, and a way to establish herself as a goddess. I fell under her spell. Actually, all of us men did. It wasn't a pretty sight, and I'm in eternal debt to Sam, Teal'c and Janet for organizing a rebellion against Hathor. Otherwise, we would been in very deep trouble. 

Hathor used me, Sha're, just like Apophis used you. Instead of impregnating you with his hopeful future host, she seduced me into making new Goa'uld for her. It makes me sick when I remember the bits of memory from that time, but I did it willingly, thanks to that... stuff she gave all of us. 

The Goa'uld use us as though we're nothing more than animals. To them, you were a cow, and I was a bull. They do it because they feel they can, because it makes them powerful. They're on a galactic power trip, yet they're just little white snakes that can't survive on its own. Ironic, isn't it? 

We all have things to regret and be ashamed of, thanks to our dealings with the Goa'uld and all those they've influenced. The sarcophagus that saved our lives has a darker side that you can't possibly imagine, Sha're, or maybe you can. I never thought of that until now. Anyway, the Goa'uld use the sarcophagus to keep strong and healthy and vigorous, and it gets to be too much. They end up needing it, more and more. I found out the hard way, and as much as I hate that cliché, it was one of the most difficult times of my life. Probably the most. All because of a Goa'uld machine. 

And I have the feeling that this is only the start of how the Goa'uld affect our lives. Both now, and in the future. It's partly those things to come that keep me awake at night, wondering what nightmares we'll uncover next. 

I can't keep my thoughts straight. I'm just writing everything down as it comes, hoping that you'll understand what I mean. I hope you do, and I hope I'm there to explain it in words that hopefully will be coming out better than this. But until I can hold you in my arms and tell you these things myself, I have to satisfy myself with these words. 

I'll love you always. 

Your Daniel. 

* * *

>   
> © September 19,1999 The characters mentioned in this story are the property of Showtime and Gekko Film Corp.  
> The Stargate, SG-I, the Goa’uld and all other characters  
> who have appeared in the series STARGATE SG-1 together with the names,   
> titles and backstory are the sole copyright property of MGM-UA Worldwide Television,   
> Gekko Film Corp, Glassner/Wright Double Secret Productions and Stargate SG-I Prod. Ltd.   
> Partnership.  
> This fanfic is not intended as an infringement upon those rights and   
> solely meant for entertainment.   
> All other characters, the story idea and the story itself   
> are the sole property of the author.   
> 

* * *

  


##### This one just had to be written. Thanks to Jmas for beta-ing, and Maria for helping with the summary.

* * *

  
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